The greatest lesson Greg learnt was to “share three cups of tea, to slow down and make building relationships as important as building projects (p.150).” This may have seemed more time consuming to start with but in the long run it produced more sustainable results. Too often leaders are focused on doing things rather than creating connections. They become driven by improving the external environment of their organisations without considering the foundational relationships that underpin the organisation’s success.

In their work based in Chicago schools, researchers Bryk and Schneider came to the conclusion that relational trust was foundational for school improvement. They suggested four vital signs for identifying and assessing trust:

• Respect – genuinely talking and listening to each other in ways that acknowledge and accept the views, ideas and beliefs of others.
• Competence – the ability and willingness to fulfill responsibilities and believe others to be competent.
• Personal regard – caring for each other personally and professionally. Going that extra mile.
• Integrity – keeping ones word. Putting the needs of children first, even when tough decisions need to be made.

These points were all exhibited by Greg Mortenson. He did not try to impose his views on those he was working with and he was prepared to do what was needed, at times with great personal sacrifice. The building of trust allowed him to work in areas that few could access and to provide education to many.

Future leadership is very much about collaboration, building professional learning networks and growing capabilities in others. It builds on trust and integrity and comes from the heart as well as the head. Future leadership requires leaders who listen and who constantly reflect on their own behaviour.

In an online environment our integrity can be compromised if we do not think carefully about what we make public. In Joe McCarthy’s blogpost on The Dark Side of Digital Backchannels in Shared Physical Spaces there are examples of backchannel behaviour that has had dramatic effects on people’s lives.

Our actions are amplified because so many people have access to our thoughts and behaviours. This amplification can help our message reach a wider group of followers. It can also amplify decisions that, in retrospect, we wish we had not made. Online integrity is connected to our moral beliefs yet the day to day living of these beliefs can easily be eroded by quick, irreversible online decisions. The establishment of online behaviours, etiquette and cultural norms can be developed by:

• parents understanding and modelling sound online behaviours so that their children can follow by example;
• schools recognising that social networking is here to stay and that we will get feedback from students through backchannels whether we like it or not. You can bury your head in the sand and ban social media or use it as a way to deepen online integrity and build student awareness and skills;
• constantly checking your own personal behaviours to see if your offline and online behaviours are congruent – and ethically sound; and
• not responding unethically in response to inappropriate online behaviour.

Let’s face it. None of us are perfect. Yet if we have well defined values and beliefs we may be less likely to cause offense or put ourselves in situations where we wish we could turn back time, erase 140 characters, remove a photo before a job interview or get back our privacy.

Some useful sites to visit:

• Safety Tips
• Cartoon on Good Samaritanism